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Millennials Do It Better: The Millennial Prenup

Chantale Suttle • May 19, 2023
A tattooed couple cooks in the kitchen together.


 

THE MILLENIALS’ PARADIGM SHIFT


Millennials have questioned much of what previous generations took for granted, from work-life norms to media consumption, and their attitudes toward relationships and commitment also represent a healthy shift from tradition. 


Millennials, as a generation born roughly between the early 1980s and the mid-1990s, do exhibit some unique characteristics and approaches to relationships compared to those of previous generations. While not all individuals within any given generation behave or think the same way, there are nonetheless some general trends observed among millennials’ approaches to committed relationships.


TRUST THY PARTNER


Millennials’ experience of relating to others has been defined through digital connectivity: they have grown up in an era of rapid technological advancement, especially with the proliferation of smartphones and social media. They often rely on online dating apps and websites to meet partners. This generation, more than any other, has daily communicated far more with their partners, including through texts, video calls, and social media interactions.


As a result, millennials are unique in that they possess an unparalleled ability to know exactly whom they are marrying. More than ever before, people can conduct research on their fiancés through their digital footprint.


Plus, millennials spend more time on casual dating than previous generations, which meshes well with their preference for delayed commitment and open communication. They explore options for longer in their dating lives, and they choose partners who support their individual goals, passions, and personal development. Millennials tend to prioritize finding a partner who shares similar interests, values, and aspirations. Compatibility and personal fulfillment are considered essential in their relationships.


Additionally, they know themselves. They often prioritize personal and career goals before settling down. Factors such as financial stability, educational pursuits, and a desire for self-discovery play a role in their decision to postpone marriage. Millennials value personal growth and self-fulfillment. Consequently, their self-knowledge and their time spent getting to know their partners build self-awareness in the context of a relationship.


Media over recent years has noted that millennials have a much lower divorce rate compared to previous generations. Given the above building blocks of their relationships, it’s easy to see why their commitments last.


DISTRUST THY LEGAL SYSTEM


When millennials visit JustPrenups.com, they are more concerned about their future planning than they are about protecting themselves from their future spouses. A prenup might have been synonymous with distrust in previous generations, but not with them.


They already trust their fiancés. But they don’t trust a legal system that may subject them to a hurtful, prolonged, expensive divorce rife with litigation.


Their prenups reflect their dedication to lessening the pain of a potential divorce. Their agreements’ provisions create directions for each partner to navigate the end of the marriage. Their prenups seek to facilitate both partners moving on with fewer hurts. In this regard, the prenup is still evidence of the partners’ care for each other, even through the end of the relationship when they may be in the heat of disappointment, anger, and grief.


BROAD PLANNING FOR A SHARED FUTURE


Millennials see their agreements as an initiative-taking tool for estate and financial planning and as the codification of their expectations for each other. Overall, their generation has an increased acceptance of prenups compared to previous generations, who largely have perceived them as taboo or as indicative of a lack of trust – or even as fostering divorce. In contrast, many millennials see prenups as practical, responsible measures to protect their individual assets and interests as well as a means of negotiating more personal aspects of their marital relationship.


Millennials are more likely to view prenups as a vehicle for achieving fairness and equality within a relationship. Millennials are often more open to customizing prenups to fit their specific needs, goals, and circumstances. They may include provisions for pet custody, social media behavior, or other unique considerations that may not have been common in previous generations.


Compared to previous generations, millennials tend to approach relationships with a more egalitarian mindset. They seek partnerships based on equality and mutual respect, where both partners share responsibilities and make decisions together. They may use prenups to outline financial responsibilities, to address potential power imbalances, and to establish guidelines for property division, spousal support, or other financial matters.


A MAP FOR CONFLICT


Millennials emphasize fairness and transparency in their long-term, committed relationships, which extends to wanting clear terms for any period of separation before filing for divorce. More specifically, they want behavioral standards articulated for the touchy period during which the couple is actively evaluating the future of the relationship. This period may include terms for who leaves the marital home during a separation and what the person is allowed to take from the marital home.


Behavioral standards for this delicate time can include when status may be changed on Facebook, for example, or what sort of social media behavior is appropriate in discussing certain aspects of their lives, or in promoting a business that they created together during the marriage. 


DIVORCE IN A BOX…WITH LOVE xoxoxo


Their agreements obviously contemplate the end of the relationship. But their prenups don't end there.


Their agreements may include measures to save the marriage during hard times. Prenups may include provisions that throw a life preserver to the relationship, such as mandating attendance at marital therapy sessions before leaving the marital home. 


This focus at JustPrenups is called a divorce in a box. The prenup contains instructions that include explicit language on how to dismantle their lives together, down to the nuts and bolts. For example, at the end of a cohabitating relationship, the couple will need to dispose of property, transfer accounts, decide on paying utilities, and determine how quickly one person will move out and/or sell the house, to name a few.


DIY PRENUPS…WITH HELP


Instead of viewing prenups as adversarial or one-sided, millennials tend to approach the process more collaboratively. They want to work with each other on setting terms instead of watching lawyers volley drafts of the prenup back and forth via representation for each partner.


At JustPrenups, a partner may retain the services of an attorney for representation, as some financial, legal, and family situations are best suited for the traditional model of each partner being represented by different attorneys.


But increasingly, most couples opt for mediation in which they build the bulk of their prenup by themselves with guidance from the mediator to cover important issues. From there, the couple may incorporate the assistance of lawyers to review their draft or use financial advisors to ensure that the agreement is optimal for tax purposes. They usually approach estate attorneys with their completed prenup in hand to make sure that the prenup and their wills work together to memorialize their goals.

 

If you see yourself in these descriptions, please talk with us to decide if mediation or representation is best.


We offer remote meetings via Zoom to work with your schedule. Complete the questionnaire to initiate a free consultation.


Warning: All posts on this website contain general information about legal matters for broad educational purposes only. This information is not legal advice and should not be treated as such. This blog post does not create any attorney-client or mediator-client relationship between the reader and JustPrenups.com.

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By 7107328235 March 27, 2025
A prenuptial or postnuptial agreement can save your business. Consider two dry cleaners, Ricky and Fred. Both thought they would be married to their wives until “death do they part.” Unfortunately, they both ended up divorced. Ricky walked out of divorce court personally and professionally ruined. Fred, while emotionally drained, was able to maintain and grow his successful business. Why the different outcomes? Ricky’s Story Ricky owned a dry cleaning business with Lucy, his wife of 19 years. Ricky was in charge of all aspects of the business, but Lucy did manage the company’s payroll and vendors part-time. Occasionally, she worked the front counter. For the most part, Lucy raised the children and cared for her elderly parents. When they decided to divorce, Ricky and Lucy were still civil and wanted their divorce to be amicable. Ricky and Lucy worked together, without lawyers, to craft a plan for sharing time with their teenage sons, and for sharing the family’s expenses. They also agreed to sell their house after their youngest son graduated high school. After a few months, and at the urging of a well-intentioned friend, Lucy hired a lawyer to write up the couples’ plan. Lucy’s main goal was to make sure the divorce ended fairly for her children. The lawyer, however, believed that since any small business owner could hide income, assets, or a company’s true value, then Ricky must be doing that too. Even though Lucy had a base of knowledge of the business’s finances, she trusted her lawyer and figured that he knew better. So, she agreed to his “scorched earth” strategy to protect her children. What is a “scorched earth strategy”? This is a common tactic to squeeze a business owner into a large and early settlement. The lawyer hires an accountant, and they go after every scrap of information and document pertaining to the company’s assets and liabilities, and they question it all—every argument and angle of attack is fair game. Much of the cost of providing the information and documents, and defending business decisions, must be paid by the business. Scared and desperate, Ricky lawyered up too. Unfortunately, Ricky’s lawyer couldn’t advise him on the settlement terms proposed by Lucy’s lawyer without conducting his own analysis of the company’s voluminous records. Much of the paper work involved in operating a dry cleaning business was foreign to him, and the stringent environmental regulations and reporting was overwhelming. Ricky’s lawyer had to hire his own accountant to help value the business for the divorce. Ricky and Lucy were now far from civil with one another, and the mud began to fly. Faced with dueling accountants, complicated and conflicting arguments about the business’s finances and value, and accusations against Ricky of financial wrongdoing, the family court judge appointed an independent forensic accountant to advise the court. The independent accountant saw that the business, which was the couple’s biggest asset, was crumbling because the ugly divorce was keeping Ricky from focusing on the business. The accountant was also worried about the accusations of financial wrongdoing by Ricky. So, on the independent accountant’s recommendation, the court appointed a receiver to operate and protect the dry cleaning business. Ricky and Lucy were now paying six different professionals, and trial was still months away. The receiver discovered that the company’s records did not comply with dry cleaning waste disposal regulations, and reported the non-compliance to government authorities. Ricky and Lucy blamed each other for the missing paperwork, and the sour relationship between them stalled and ultimately prevented joint efforts at an amnesty program and damage control. The business began to accrue daily statutory fines, employees were laid off, debts mounted, and the business eventually shut its doors while Ricky and Lucy continued to fight in divorce court. A year later, with no business to provide income for Ricky or Lucy, Ricky agreed to settle by paying Lucy more than half of his share of the house. Lucy accepted the offer, even though it was smaller then what she expected originally, because her share of the house was pledged to pay her lawyer’s fees. Fred’s Story Fred was married to Ethel for 22 years, and they have a daughter. Like Ricky and Lucy, Fred ran the business while Ethel was involved part-time in just certain aspects. But unlike Ricky and Lucy, when Fred bought his dry cleaning business nine years earlier, Fred and Ethel signed a postnuptial agreement to protect each other in case of divorce. The attorney-drafted agreement laid out a strict structure for evaluating and dividing the business, and for determining Fred’s true income for spousal and child support calculations. It identified and limited the financial information and documents that the business would have to disclose. It also required that the couple use a single neutral accountant (who would be paid from marital property and not by the company), to gather and evaluate that financial information and documentation. Early in the divorce, Ethel agreed that the postnuptial agreement was valid. She waived any right to ask the court to force the company to disclose more information or documents than described in the postnuptial agreement. This entitled Ethel to an immediate, fair, and higher award of support, thanks to a provision that she and Fred put in the agreement to encourage a quick resolution. Within a month, Fred and Ethel’s divorce was finalized, with minimal attorneys’ and accountant fees, and with no interference or intrusion into the dry cleaning business or operations. How could two similarly situated businesses and families leave divorce court with such different results? The first story is horrifying, but exceedingly common. Many states have onerous disclosure requirements that unnecessarily burden the time and finances of a small business. Unscrupulous divorce lawyers are trained to hone in and target a business owner’s fear of having the business’s confidential and financial information exposed to the world, to induce an early and usually unfair settlement. Fair and careful divorce lawyers will also want extensive company records, because they fear being liable for giving bad advice if they make recommendations without investigating the whole picture themselves. Either way, good lawyer or a bad one, smart judge or not, a case involving a small business can be very costly. The best way to avoid being a Ricky, is to get a prenuptial or postnuptial agreement like Fred. A good prenuptial or postnuptial agreement can render the most intrusive and damaging financial disclosures unnecessary, and can limit or attribute the related costs away from the business. In some situations, as shown above, they can save the business itself. If Ricky had a prenuptial or postnuptial agreement in place, maybe a receiver would not have been necessary, and Ricky and Lucy could have resolved the business’s regulatory problems confidentially without going out of business. Ricky and Fred were not wrong to believe in their marriages. A life-long commitment is not fanciful; it is a hopeful and beautiful goal. Most couples think they will reach that goal and that other couples will fill our country’s depressing divorce statistics. But consider this, we buy life insurance, install security systems, and wear seat belts “just in case.” They give us security even if we think that odds will always be in our favor. A careful and thorough prenuptial or postnuptial agreement can provide you, your spouse, and your business with security that all will be protected in a divorce, and that years of building a life and a business will not be burned to the ground. Chantale Suttle is the Managing Attorney and Founder of DADvocacy™ Law Firm, which is headquartered in Miami, Florida. She has been in the exclusive practice of family law for over 21 years and has served countless small business owners in divorce court. Drafting prenuptial and postnuptial agreements for small business owners is her favorite work.
A couple sits on a bench as one person reaches out to the other who is turned away.
By 7107328235 January 15, 2025
Your fiancé or fiancée presented you with a prenuptial draft: will you sign it before you hear wedding bells? Now you need a review by an attorney to ensure that your assets and your future security are protected: welcome to JustPrenups' prenup review! JustPrenups now offers UPLOADR: quickly share your prenup draft easily from any device in multiples format through UPLOADR on our site - no scanning, no email. Once we receive your prenup draft, an attorney examines the prenup that you received and then meets with you for a free consultation on Zoom. We hold your document and its data in confidence, even if you don't retain us, per our ethical requirements.
A couple walks along a Florida beach by the water in sunshine.
By 7107328235 December 26, 2024
Florida is a quirky place full of contrasts, and so is its family law. In particular, recent updates to Florida family law have changed the rules for alimony in Florida prenups. If your prenuptial agreement doesn't follow these changed rules, your prenup may not be valid and enforceable; as a result, you may be facing high financial stakes in divorce litigation that may put your assets at risk.
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