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Who Should Move Out? Planning for the Worst Times During your Best Times

Chantale Suttle • December 16, 2022
A male-female couple cuddles with wine in front of a decorated Christmas tree on JustPrenups.com. Hello, do you need a prenup? Our pros offer attorney or mediator services

Have you driven a car on a highway without car insurance? 

 

Did you wear a seatbelt the last time you were in a car? 

 

Do you lock your doors before bedtime?

 

Did you buy homeowners insurance?

 

Do you ensure that your children have medical coverage? 

 

These questions point to obvious answers about everyday situations that carry potentially life-altering risks, and rarely do we ever consider gambling our outcomes with the above scenarios. The same caution should apply to another life-altering situation: marriage, which brings with it the possibility of divorce. 

 

The equivalent of a seatbelt or insurance for marriage is a prenuptial or postnuptial agreement, either of which may protect you from the "blunt force trauma" of divorce. A prenup is signed before the wedding vows. A postnup includes the same material in the contract, except that it is signed after the wedding vows. The difference between the two documents rests in the timing of the signatures.

 

In popular culture, the prenup or postnup directs outcomes for financial holdings and tangible property, such as homes and cars. This view of nuptial agreements is accurate, as prenups and postnups cover these issues; however, this view is incredibly limited. Nuptial agreements can also help couples to navigate the most emotionally painful and cognitively tricky time in a troubled relationship. A prenup or postnup can address behaviors during the most volatile period of separation.

 

If you and your spouse decide to consider ending your marriage, you might not rush into divorce right away, but you both will likely opt to pursue separation. One of you will leave the home that you share together.

 

Who leaves?

 

At JustPrenups, we rely on decades of experience to examine each spouse's unique situation so that this question is already answered and finalized in writing. 

 

Our template for postnups and prenups addresses other questions that are context-specific so that you don't have worry about such issues during your most conflicted times: 


  1. Who has a convenient new place readily available, such as a nearby parent's or sibling's home? Is this the best option for a move-out scenario, or should other options be considered or developed?
  2. Who bears most of the burden for childcare and/or elder care, and how should the spouses divide this labor during a break-up? 
  3. Would dependents remain in the marital home, or leave with the relocating spouse? 
  4. Does either spouse have health conditions that affect one's ability to relocate? 
  5. Is one spouse dependent on the other for financial support? Should there be an agreement about financial support while the spouses live separately before the divorce or reconciliation? 
  6. What happens to any jointly held bank accounts and credit cards that either spouse may need for living costs? 
  7. Should the partners be obligated to undergo several marital therapy sessions before proceeding with a divorce attorney? 

 

Our contracts settle additional complications that the process of separation introduces: 

 

  1. What is the relocating person allowed to take from the marital home? The moving-out process can raise concerns about who owns specific personal property. For example, what if the remaining spouse owns the four-figure, luxury space heater, but the relocating spouse packed it?
  2. Should marital assets pay for a new place, its utilities, and its other requirements (e.g., needing sheets, towels, dishes, cleaning products, etc.) while you two decide whether to proceed with divorce or whether to reconcile?
  3. Does the relocating spouse pay for utilities at the marital home? Are there complications to be sorted if a partner's name is on the utility bills at both locations? Remember that failure to pay any bill registered in your name will result in damage to your credit score.
  4. Should the couple invest in separate phone plans during this time? Are there other jointly held services that should be terminated? 
  5. How would both of you feel about changing the locks to the marital home after a spouse leaves, or at all? Can a remaining spouse change the passwords to the security features?
  6. How long does the relocating spouse have to move out completely if you decide on divorce? 
  7. Must either spouse surrender certain items to the other before departure or before filing for divorce, such as a car or technology?
  8. What are the boundaries for the relocated spouse regarding the marital home during a separation if you have not decided whether to proceed with divorce? Does one spouse maintain exclusive use of the marital home during this time, or do you both retain access, but on a schedule? 
  9. Are either of you allowed to date once you are living in separate residences? 
  10. If you own the home jointly, does the relocating spouse still have access to perform or help with upkeep to retain the value of the home? Is the relocating spouse required to contribute financially for such upkeep, such as cleaning or landscaping or other necessary services, such as plumbing and roof repair? 
  11. Should you file taxes separately, depending on how long the period of living apart lasts? 
  12. When is a partner allowed to change relationship status descriptors on social media? What can be said on social media, if anything at all, during the separation period prior to filing for divorce? 


Even though the partners decided upon one moving out, the marriage itself may or may not be over. The marriage may be rehabbed through time apart, or it may become irretrievably broken. Your behavior throughout this time determines much of the outcome, including whether the couple considers reconciliation. 

 

Respectful, patient consideration of the other's needs is key here. Assumptions about the other person must be left at the door, no matter how long you have known each other. Can toxicity in your relationship be overcome? Are you both allowed to be yourselves in a way that doesn't negate the other person? Neither of you can rush the process of building new communication methods and creating new boundaries for your behaviors, and many turn to the guidance of a therapist, a coach, a religious leader, or some trusted third party.

 

When touchy logistical decisions are already made, there is less opportunity to fight over them. Our prenuptial and postnuptial agreements deal with the planning above and more so that you and your partner can invest energy on deciding your futures together or apart. The lists above are not exhaustive, as your contract is customized to you as a couple. The separation period in a relationship is delicate, and that's why JustPrenups seeks to be as concrete as possible. The "rules of engagement" are written in your best times so that your troubled times do not needlessly introduce more harm. 

 

Warning: All posts on this website and its partner website, the DADvocacy™ Law Firm, contain general information about legal matters for broad educational purposes only. This information is not legal advice and should not be treated as such. This blog post does not create any attorney-client relationship between the reader and JustPrenups.com

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By 7107328235 March 27, 2025
A prenuptial or postnuptial agreement can save your business. Consider two dry cleaners, Ricky and Fred. Both thought they would be married to their wives until “death do they part.” Unfortunately, they both ended up divorced. Ricky walked out of divorce court personally and professionally ruined. Fred, while emotionally drained, was able to maintain and grow his successful business. Why the different outcomes? Ricky’s Story Ricky owned a dry cleaning business with Lucy, his wife of 19 years. Ricky was in charge of all aspects of the business, but Lucy did manage the company’s payroll and vendors part-time. Occasionally, she worked the front counter. For the most part, Lucy raised the children and cared for her elderly parents. When they decided to divorce, Ricky and Lucy were still civil and wanted their divorce to be amicable. Ricky and Lucy worked together, without lawyers, to craft a plan for sharing time with their teenage sons, and for sharing the family’s expenses. They also agreed to sell their house after their youngest son graduated high school. After a few months, and at the urging of a well-intentioned friend, Lucy hired a lawyer to write up the couples’ plan. Lucy’s main goal was to make sure the divorce ended fairly for her children. The lawyer, however, believed that since any small business owner could hide income, assets, or a company’s true value, then Ricky must be doing that too. Even though Lucy had a base of knowledge of the business’s finances, she trusted her lawyer and figured that he knew better. So, she agreed to his “scorched earth” strategy to protect her children. What is a “scorched earth strategy”? This is a common tactic to squeeze a business owner into a large and early settlement. The lawyer hires an accountant, and they go after every scrap of information and document pertaining to the company’s assets and liabilities, and they question it all—every argument and angle of attack is fair game. Much of the cost of providing the information and documents, and defending business decisions, must be paid by the business. Scared and desperate, Ricky lawyered up too. Unfortunately, Ricky’s lawyer couldn’t advise him on the settlement terms proposed by Lucy’s lawyer without conducting his own analysis of the company’s voluminous records. Much of the paper work involved in operating a dry cleaning business was foreign to him, and the stringent environmental regulations and reporting was overwhelming. Ricky’s lawyer had to hire his own accountant to help value the business for the divorce. Ricky and Lucy were now far from civil with one another, and the mud began to fly. Faced with dueling accountants, complicated and conflicting arguments about the business’s finances and value, and accusations against Ricky of financial wrongdoing, the family court judge appointed an independent forensic accountant to advise the court. The independent accountant saw that the business, which was the couple’s biggest asset, was crumbling because the ugly divorce was keeping Ricky from focusing on the business. The accountant was also worried about the accusations of financial wrongdoing by Ricky. So, on the independent accountant’s recommendation, the court appointed a receiver to operate and protect the dry cleaning business. Ricky and Lucy were now paying six different professionals, and trial was still months away. The receiver discovered that the company’s records did not comply with dry cleaning waste disposal regulations, and reported the non-compliance to government authorities. Ricky and Lucy blamed each other for the missing paperwork, and the sour relationship between them stalled and ultimately prevented joint efforts at an amnesty program and damage control. The business began to accrue daily statutory fines, employees were laid off, debts mounted, and the business eventually shut its doors while Ricky and Lucy continued to fight in divorce court. A year later, with no business to provide income for Ricky or Lucy, Ricky agreed to settle by paying Lucy more than half of his share of the house. Lucy accepted the offer, even though it was smaller then what she expected originally, because her share of the house was pledged to pay her lawyer’s fees. Fred’s Story Fred was married to Ethel for 22 years, and they have a daughter. Like Ricky and Lucy, Fred ran the business while Ethel was involved part-time in just certain aspects. But unlike Ricky and Lucy, when Fred bought his dry cleaning business nine years earlier, Fred and Ethel signed a postnuptial agreement to protect each other in case of divorce. The attorney-drafted agreement laid out a strict structure for evaluating and dividing the business, and for determining Fred’s true income for spousal and child support calculations. It identified and limited the financial information and documents that the business would have to disclose. It also required that the couple use a single neutral accountant (who would be paid from marital property and not by the company), to gather and evaluate that financial information and documentation. Early in the divorce, Ethel agreed that the postnuptial agreement was valid. She waived any right to ask the court to force the company to disclose more information or documents than described in the postnuptial agreement. This entitled Ethel to an immediate, fair, and higher award of support, thanks to a provision that she and Fred put in the agreement to encourage a quick resolution. Within a month, Fred and Ethel’s divorce was finalized, with minimal attorneys’ and accountant fees, and with no interference or intrusion into the dry cleaning business or operations. How could two similarly situated businesses and families leave divorce court with such different results? The first story is horrifying, but exceedingly common. Many states have onerous disclosure requirements that unnecessarily burden the time and finances of a small business. Unscrupulous divorce lawyers are trained to hone in and target a business owner’s fear of having the business’s confidential and financial information exposed to the world, to induce an early and usually unfair settlement. Fair and careful divorce lawyers will also want extensive company records, because they fear being liable for giving bad advice if they make recommendations without investigating the whole picture themselves. Either way, good lawyer or a bad one, smart judge or not, a case involving a small business can be very costly. The best way to avoid being a Ricky, is to get a prenuptial or postnuptial agreement like Fred. A good prenuptial or postnuptial agreement can render the most intrusive and damaging financial disclosures unnecessary, and can limit or attribute the related costs away from the business. In some situations, as shown above, they can save the business itself. If Ricky had a prenuptial or postnuptial agreement in place, maybe a receiver would not have been necessary, and Ricky and Lucy could have resolved the business’s regulatory problems confidentially without going out of business. Ricky and Fred were not wrong to believe in their marriages. A life-long commitment is not fanciful; it is a hopeful and beautiful goal. Most couples think they will reach that goal and that other couples will fill our country’s depressing divorce statistics. But consider this, we buy life insurance, install security systems, and wear seat belts “just in case.” They give us security even if we think that odds will always be in our favor. A careful and thorough prenuptial or postnuptial agreement can provide you, your spouse, and your business with security that all will be protected in a divorce, and that years of building a life and a business will not be burned to the ground. Chantale Suttle is the Managing Attorney and Founder of DADvocacy™ Law Firm, which is headquartered in Miami, Florida. She has been in the exclusive practice of family law for over 21 years and has served countless small business owners in divorce court. Drafting prenuptial and postnuptial agreements for small business owners is her favorite work.
A couple sits on a bench as one person reaches out to the other who is turned away.
By 7107328235 January 15, 2025
Your fiancé or fiancée presented you with a prenuptial draft: will you sign it before you hear wedding bells? Now you need a review by an attorney to ensure that your assets and your future security are protected: welcome to JustPrenups' prenup review! JustPrenups now offers UPLOADR: quickly share your prenup draft easily from any device in multiples format through UPLOADR on our site - no scanning, no email. Once we receive your prenup draft, an attorney examines the prenup that you received and then meets with you for a free consultation on Zoom. We hold your document and its data in confidence, even if you don't retain us, per our ethical requirements.
A couple walks along a Florida beach by the water in sunshine.
By 7107328235 December 26, 2024
Florida is a quirky place full of contrasts, and so is its family law. In particular, recent updates to Florida family law have changed the rules for alimony in Florida prenups. If your prenuptial agreement doesn't follow these changed rules, your prenup may not be valid and enforceable; as a result, you may be facing high financial stakes in divorce litigation that may put your assets at risk.
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