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Can a Mediated Prenup Provide "Divorce Insurance" for Your Assets?

Chantale Suttle • August 30, 2024
A couple holds hands tightly at their wedding.

A mediated prenup or a mediated postnup may confer some advantages for couples who are concerned about costs - both emotionally and financially. A mediated prenup or postnup does not assume an adversarial position, which is typical of representation by an attorney. Instead of an attorney taking an advocacy position for only one side, a mediator remains neutral and is bound by law to stay neutral through safeguarding the fairness and transparency of the procedure for both parties. 

 

Let's review: 

 

Mediation by a mediator:

 

· Neutral toward all parties. 

· Transparent process for all parties involved. 

· Shared communication with all parties involved. 

· The parties are walked through the process toward the final draft of the pre- or postnuptial agreement and through the disclosure of assets and liabilities to each other.

· Confidentiality extends to communications between the mediator and the parties; for example, nothing discussed in mediation sessions can be disclosed later by the parties or by the mediator. Discussions between the mediator and the parties cannot later be used against either party in a legal proceeding, such as divorce.

· Offered by JustPrenups as a flat-rate package of services. 

 

Representation by an attorney:

 

· Zealous advocacy by the attorney for only one side's best interests. 

· No disclosure to the other side about process.

· Only certain communications are shared with the other side, as the attorney has the duty of confidentiality only to the one party who is the client.

· Parties reach agreement through the opposing attorneys acting for each side's best interests. Confidentiality is owed to the client only and not to the non-represented party. 

· Confidentiality extends on all matters disclosed by the party to the attorney for the purposes of representation, and the lawyer’s duty of confidentiality is permanent, extending even beyond the death of the client.

· May be a flat rate, but often billed hourly to accommodate the number of drafts written, the number of concerns raised, and the number of phone, Zoom, and email communications with the attorneys. 

 

Many couples who are considering a prenuptial or postnuptial agreement, or a cohabitation agreement, do not realize that another option is available beyond the traditional adversarial representation associated with attorneys, which can be off-putting to one or both parties when starting a life together. In

 

Mediators seek to reassure both sides that they are in a neutral environment that typically feels friendlier to both partners, which is the point: JustPrenups wants clients to embark on planning their future together out of love and concern for each other's welfare. What better way to show that love and concern than through protective planning for all parties? 

 

Please see our blog post, Cross Cultural Perceptions of Prenuptial Agreements, which addresses prenups as a means of protective financial planning for the family (and for the business, if you and/or your partner own a business), with the prenuptial agreement being only one tool among others, such as wills, advanced medical directives, and naming beneficiaries, for example. In this regard, you may shift your thinking of prenuptial or postnuptial agreements to see them in the same fashion as car insurance, security cameras, medical insurance, seatbelts, and the like, which are protective, helpful devices in case of the worst-case scenario. You really don't want to need those items either, but if you do, they can save your well-being financially and physically. 

 

In addition, if a client divorces and challenges the agreement, mediators who work with a couple are situated differently from lawyers who represent an individual. Mediators can testify in a divorce to the integrity of the procedures used to draft, to facilitate disclosure, and to certify the agreement. A mediator can show the history of both parties' consent to the agreement. JustPrenups employs a method with time built into the process for each side to consider every step of disclosure and every draft version of the agreement. The mediator can demonstrate that adequate time was allotted for both sides to consider the final draft and to obtain counsel from individuals outside the couple. 

 
If a client is represented by an attorney and then contests the agreement's validity in a divorce, that attorney can only reiterate arguments about why the agreement was fair to, and consensual for, both sides. 


In a divorce, a party represented by an attorney is still owed confidentiality by that attorney. Likewise, the mediator also has a duty of confidentiality, but that duty extends to both parties equally and to all the content in communications between the parties and the mediator, pursuant to the Mediation Confidentiality and Privilege Act enacted in Florida in July 2004.


Is mediation necessarily better for the both of you as a couple? Is mediation better for you as an individual? At JustPrenups, we cannot advise you as to which approach is better suited to your needs. We can identify the pros and cons of both approaches, and you can decide what is a better fit for your needs as an individual and as a couple. Our approach is not "one size fits all," and you may need to consult with us to determine the best path. Mediation is an option, but if you are better served by representation, our sister company, 
DADvocacy, can meet your needs.

 

Warning: All posts on this website contain general information about legal matters for broad educational purposes only. This information is not legal advice and should not be treated as such. This blog post does not create any attorney-client relationship between the reader and JustPrenups.com.


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By 7107328235 March 27, 2025
A prenuptial or postnuptial agreement can save your business. Consider two dry cleaners, Ricky and Fred. Both thought they would be married to their wives until “death do they part.” Unfortunately, they both ended up divorced. Ricky walked out of divorce court personally and professionally ruined. Fred, while emotionally drained, was able to maintain and grow his successful business. Why the different outcomes? Ricky’s Story Ricky owned a dry cleaning business with Lucy, his wife of 19 years. Ricky was in charge of all aspects of the business, but Lucy did manage the company’s payroll and vendors part-time. Occasionally, she worked the front counter. For the most part, Lucy raised the children and cared for her elderly parents. When they decided to divorce, Ricky and Lucy were still civil and wanted their divorce to be amicable. Ricky and Lucy worked together, without lawyers, to craft a plan for sharing time with their teenage sons, and for sharing the family’s expenses. They also agreed to sell their house after their youngest son graduated high school. After a few months, and at the urging of a well-intentioned friend, Lucy hired a lawyer to write up the couples’ plan. Lucy’s main goal was to make sure the divorce ended fairly for her children. The lawyer, however, believed that since any small business owner could hide income, assets, or a company’s true value, then Ricky must be doing that too. Even though Lucy had a base of knowledge of the business’s finances, she trusted her lawyer and figured that he knew better. So, she agreed to his “scorched earth” strategy to protect her children. What is a “scorched earth strategy”? This is a common tactic to squeeze a business owner into a large and early settlement. The lawyer hires an accountant, and they go after every scrap of information and document pertaining to the company’s assets and liabilities, and they question it all—every argument and angle of attack is fair game. Much of the cost of providing the information and documents, and defending business decisions, must be paid by the business. Scared and desperate, Ricky lawyered up too. Unfortunately, Ricky’s lawyer couldn’t advise him on the settlement terms proposed by Lucy’s lawyer without conducting his own analysis of the company’s voluminous records. Much of the paper work involved in operating a dry cleaning business was foreign to him, and the stringent environmental regulations and reporting was overwhelming. Ricky’s lawyer had to hire his own accountant to help value the business for the divorce. Ricky and Lucy were now far from civil with one another, and the mud began to fly. Faced with dueling accountants, complicated and conflicting arguments about the business’s finances and value, and accusations against Ricky of financial wrongdoing, the family court judge appointed an independent forensic accountant to advise the court. The independent accountant saw that the business, which was the couple’s biggest asset, was crumbling because the ugly divorce was keeping Ricky from focusing on the business. The accountant was also worried about the accusations of financial wrongdoing by Ricky. So, on the independent accountant’s recommendation, the court appointed a receiver to operate and protect the dry cleaning business. Ricky and Lucy were now paying six different professionals, and trial was still months away. The receiver discovered that the company’s records did not comply with dry cleaning waste disposal regulations, and reported the non-compliance to government authorities. Ricky and Lucy blamed each other for the missing paperwork, and the sour relationship between them stalled and ultimately prevented joint efforts at an amnesty program and damage control. The business began to accrue daily statutory fines, employees were laid off, debts mounted, and the business eventually shut its doors while Ricky and Lucy continued to fight in divorce court. A year later, with no business to provide income for Ricky or Lucy, Ricky agreed to settle by paying Lucy more than half of his share of the house. Lucy accepted the offer, even though it was smaller then what she expected originally, because her share of the house was pledged to pay her lawyer’s fees. Fred’s Story Fred was married to Ethel for 22 years, and they have a daughter. Like Ricky and Lucy, Fred ran the business while Ethel was involved part-time in just certain aspects. But unlike Ricky and Lucy, when Fred bought his dry cleaning business nine years earlier, Fred and Ethel signed a postnuptial agreement to protect each other in case of divorce. The attorney-drafted agreement laid out a strict structure for evaluating and dividing the business, and for determining Fred’s true income for spousal and child support calculations. It identified and limited the financial information and documents that the business would have to disclose. It also required that the couple use a single neutral accountant (who would be paid from marital property and not by the company), to gather and evaluate that financial information and documentation. Early in the divorce, Ethel agreed that the postnuptial agreement was valid. She waived any right to ask the court to force the company to disclose more information or documents than described in the postnuptial agreement. This entitled Ethel to an immediate, fair, and higher award of support, thanks to a provision that she and Fred put in the agreement to encourage a quick resolution. Within a month, Fred and Ethel’s divorce was finalized, with minimal attorneys’ and accountant fees, and with no interference or intrusion into the dry cleaning business or operations. How could two similarly situated businesses and families leave divorce court with such different results? The first story is horrifying, but exceedingly common. Many states have onerous disclosure requirements that unnecessarily burden the time and finances of a small business. Unscrupulous divorce lawyers are trained to hone in and target a business owner’s fear of having the business’s confidential and financial information exposed to the world, to induce an early and usually unfair settlement. Fair and careful divorce lawyers will also want extensive company records, because they fear being liable for giving bad advice if they make recommendations without investigating the whole picture themselves. Either way, good lawyer or a bad one, smart judge or not, a case involving a small business can be very costly. The best way to avoid being a Ricky, is to get a prenuptial or postnuptial agreement like Fred. A good prenuptial or postnuptial agreement can render the most intrusive and damaging financial disclosures unnecessary, and can limit or attribute the related costs away from the business. In some situations, as shown above, they can save the business itself. If Ricky had a prenuptial or postnuptial agreement in place, maybe a receiver would not have been necessary, and Ricky and Lucy could have resolved the business’s regulatory problems confidentially without going out of business. Ricky and Fred were not wrong to believe in their marriages. A life-long commitment is not fanciful; it is a hopeful and beautiful goal. Most couples think they will reach that goal and that other couples will fill our country’s depressing divorce statistics. But consider this, we buy life insurance, install security systems, and wear seat belts “just in case.” They give us security even if we think that odds will always be in our favor. A careful and thorough prenuptial or postnuptial agreement can provide you, your spouse, and your business with security that all will be protected in a divorce, and that years of building a life and a business will not be burned to the ground. Chantale Suttle is the Managing Attorney and Founder of DADvocacy™ Law Firm, which is headquartered in Miami, Florida. She has been in the exclusive practice of family law for over 21 years and has served countless small business owners in divorce court. Drafting prenuptial and postnuptial agreements for small business owners is her favorite work.
A couple sits on a bench as one person reaches out to the other who is turned away.
By 7107328235 January 15, 2025
Your fiancé or fiancée presented you with a prenuptial draft: will you sign it before you hear wedding bells? Now you need a review by an attorney to ensure that your assets and your future security are protected: welcome to JustPrenups' prenup review! JustPrenups now offers UPLOADR: quickly share your prenup draft easily from any device in multiples format through UPLOADR on our site - no scanning, no email. Once we receive your prenup draft, an attorney examines the prenup that you received and then meets with you for a free consultation on Zoom. We hold your document and its data in confidence, even if you don't retain us, per our ethical requirements.
A couple walks along a Florida beach by the water in sunshine.
By 7107328235 December 26, 2024
Florida is a quirky place full of contrasts, and so is its family law. In particular, recent updates to Florida family law have changed the rules for alimony in Florida prenups. If your prenuptial agreement doesn't follow these changed rules, your prenup may not be valid and enforceable; as a result, you may be facing high financial stakes in divorce litigation that may put your assets at risk.
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